Well, Canadian John Hough gives it to us is a soup bowl. This is probably one of my favorite 'backwoods' slasher films, although the entire film takes place on a cold damp island. From the beginning, I could tell I was watching a Canadian production. There's just no mistaking that cool foggy Canadian whirl in the sky, accompanied by those giant cedars that reach upward with limbed hands.....
Anyway.......
Cynthia and Jeff are a newly married couple with their first newborn. One day, while Cynthia is giving baby a bath, Jeff calls from work. Cynthia forgets baby in the tub, baby drowns, and she's off to the mental institution for an unspecified amount of time. We hear the doctor telling her husband that they need some time away, albeit, a few mental changes in Cynthia. After leaving the hospital, the two later take the doc up on his suggestion and take a private plane to a week-end of fun in the woods.
Anyone who has ever seen one of those backwoods slasher flicks know that the plane is going to malfunction, and Cynthia, Jeff, and four of their friends are soon going to be stranded on this cold foggy island with no one around for miles - except for that crazy ass family that lives a little deeper in the woods than you would normally go.
After finally realizing that they're stranded, the crew finally decide to make a night out of, pitch some tents, drink some alcohol, and listen to some God awful 80's synth-pop on some cheap ass one speaker transistor radio. The night soon ends and the reality of the situation finally sets in. They're stranded and they need to find a way off the island. That's the logical thing to do, right? Well, in most cases yes, but these people obviously have no idea they're in a slasher flick and decide to explore the island. Tip: Never explore any geographical layout after you've been stranded, whether it be a desert or Arctic tundra.
The crew walk a ways and finally run upon a seemingly deserted home. It's a nice little place, although it looks like it hasn't been inhabited in at least thirty years. The five unsuspecting strandee's pretty much break and enter into this fifty's style home and rummage through it as if they own the place. There's fiftie's memorabilia all over the place. There's an old copy of the 'Saturday Evening Post' lying on the table, an old phonograph, and old style clothing everywhere. Needless to say, the idiots who were now in the house should have realized by the lack of cobwebs that the place was indeed inhabited by someone, no matter how it looked on the outside.
Just as the group of 'odd looking' youths fire up the old Victrola, the owners of the house finally arrive. They open the door, and to tell you the truth, don't look to unhappy with finding five strangers inside their home upon their return from an evening of hunting. MA and Pa, an older couple in their sixties, invite the strangers (who had incidentally barged into their house without permission) to dinner, and ultimately to stay with them until their friend comes with a boat to escort them off the island.
We soon realize that Ma and Pa are religious extremists who have distorted the correct views of Biblical morality and bred their own form of incestuous and murderous depraved religion. (Kind of like a TBN Telethon)
It seems as if Ma and Pa don't believe in new fangled thingamajig's like telephones or motorized boats, so contacting anyone with the help of Ma and Pa was primarily useless. Either Pa would save the day, having his friend incidently show up with a boat, or he would keep them at bay from the outside world and do away with them. You guessed it, but not exactly...
We quickly realize that Ma and Pa are the eccentric bunch, but not nearly eccentric as their children. BUT, they're in their sixties, they're too old for children, right? Well, yeah, in the carnal sense of the word, but these aren't your ordinary children. These are forty year old adults who behave and act like they're eight. I guess Ma and Pa were too overprotective over the years.
There's Fanny: A fat, curly-haired red-head who has a knack for incestuous acts with her brothers, playing with baby corpses and pretending it's alive - Ramming sharp pointed objects through her sex objects eye, and most of all, playing with her basement full of 'over-sized' dolly's. You'll find out.
There's Woody: Michael J. Pollard chews up the scenery as usual. Woody is a bashful kid, (I mean 45 years old, but also has a mean streak. He likes to push people over cliffs in homemade swing sets and watch them pummel to their deaths - And playing fireman, using human bodies for firewood.
There's Teddy (Played by the late great William Hootkins) A fat oversexed pig who likes to play cowboy's and Indian's with his siblings, but most of all, likes to have sex with female corpses he's just killed. He doesn't get away with it though, Pa gives him a good spanking for being mean.
Needless to say, we have a crazy bunch of sumbitches. Our little fun timer's are getting killed off one by one and everything goes to hell.
After watching this, I soon realized that I'd never judge a movie by it's box art. Not only was this such a surprise (although I had seen it years ago on cable), we also get a double twist ending (sort of) that was all too fitting for this religious themed chaotic glob of depravity.
I'm dying to give away the ending, but I don't want to spoil it for you who haven't seen it yet.
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