Once in a while, one finds something so vile, something so filthy, something so smelling of decay that you just have to roll around in it like an old mutt, coming home stinking, and getting kicked around because you smelled up the place.
Revenge of the Living Zombies isn't a masterpiece by any means. To be honest, it's a complete rip-off of George Romero's Night of the Living Dead, but it's one of those faux pair of alligator boots that look good with that new suit you just bought.
Besides having one of the most recognizable faces from Night of the Living Dead, (making his return in what seems to be the same make-up and attire. reprising his role as a pale faced ghoul) Bill Hinzman, (also known as the Cemetery Zombie) directs, writes, and stars in this little NOTLD ripoff/homage. For a minute, I was beginning to think the duo from The Dorm That Dripped Blood had attained pseudonyms and decided to make a zombie film, claiming credit for every aspect of production including Key Grip.
Instead of some unknown force causing the dead to return to life and attack the living, we actually get a clue as to how this supposed zombie outbreak comes about. It deals with a semi-satanic theme, which beholds our favorite zombie, Bill Hinzman, buried beneath a stump. Just below that godamned stump is a tombstone with some satanic gibberish written on it. This just so happens to be a stump that a local farmer needs to remove. When the good old farmer jerks up that stump and uncovers the grave, Satanic Zombie Man doesn't look all that bad.
He's still able enough to jump up and grab the man, and resume munching on his body parts. Of course, this starts the zombie outbreak that leads to our little Penn state zombiethon.
It just so happens that a group of the ugliest college coeds I've ever seen are taking a hayride through the woods. There's like ten of them and all these fucking coo-koo's bring with is a fucking six pack? Why is it that in every slasher movie, you can have 800 people and someone just picks up a godamned six pack?
You can pretty much guess what happens from this point on. I honestly don't know what was going through Bill Hinzman's mind while making Revenge of the Living Zombies. Did the son of a bitch think he could dust off his thespian prosthetic and make a better zombie film than George Romero? I haven't a clue. What really pains me is that I respect the effort. It's kind of like taking a good dump. A certain urge to read a magazine from start to finish ensues, and you're off to the races. It's kind of the same with this film. Uh, flick. That's more like it.
The acting is like watching a bunch of roosters acting like Kentucky Fried idiots. The actors and actresses have the worst accent I've ever heard. It's a mix between Virginian and Southern Pennsylvanian, crossed with a little bit of Kentuckiana and squirrel.
I'll have to say that there are some genuinely good scenes in the movie. Uhm, flick. One being when a little girl (Hinzman's real life daughter) is dressed up as an angel for Halloween. The doorbell rings. Guess who? It's Satanic Zombie Man and his quest to kill you off screen.. He quickly picks little girl up and pretty much devours her.
There's more tits and ass in this little venture than Fulci's Zombie. I still say that the only reason Hinzman decided to make this film was to have an excuse to grope as many naked homely Pennsylvanian women as he could possibly get away with without a lawsuit.
The ending? What can I say? Imagine Night of the Living Dead, except with two surviving characters. We have the local redneck posse, fronted by non other than Vince Stravinsky. (The guy who shot Ben in the original NOTLD). We even have an old farmhouse where the coeds hole up in search of shelter from other coed zombies. (notice I said 'other')
The score is spot on, tho. I'll give them a shiny new rock for that. It's a redundant piano-esque score that plays through every waking godamn minute of the movie. It does manage enough gusto in not just giving us background noise, but a little added 'creepiness'.
There's also a few good gore shots. One being Satanic Zombie Man ramming his hand in a womans bare stomach and pulling out her liver. Not bad, but Tom Savini could do it better. Again, not a bad little gore effect. Actually, there's quite a few little night gore effects. But nothing to save your piss in a jar over.
What can I say in finality towards Revenge of the Living Zombies? For the zombie fan, you simply can't miss. Most zombie fans accept cheese with their films and let it be. This should be no exception. This is pretty much a little bit of everything that everyone likes in a zombie film. I guess that makes sense.
I know loads of die hard zombie fans who have longed to see this, but can't find a copy. It was also released as Zombie Nosh and Flesheater. All in all, not a bad time waster, especially for the zombie film fan. If nothing else, check it out for all the NOTLD '68 nuances. You'll either respect them, or want to kill Bill Hinzman.
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